Perhaps it is the near 30 year educator in me that obligates my sense we teach best by our transparency, though...marketing tends to require that we create this personae that we are larger than life. Revealing our human traits brings us down to the commoner level...and we risk damage to the progressive awe we might wish others to cultivate. I think though..such is dishonest. This painting stuff is a journey. The awe is rightly credited toward that level of hard work, discipline...lifelong study, and that never say quit attitude. Other than that we painters are all on a journey. By default of age and time, some of us have traveled farther along, or less so.
Since my interest is experiments, push...here is one I had time only to start today.
Often...there is a point in a painting that I am aware (especially plein air) that I've reached a critical moment where the work might well miserably fail, and I know that by the notable knot in my stomach. Its also a high endorphine time...a natural high to engage this moment head on...and certainly reminding ourselves we've been at such a moment a gazillion times before only to succeed...we proceed almost in a state of faith that once again it will be so.
The painting is of the muskie lure, "Hawg Teaser" and is at that juncture of potential failure.
Remember...I'm trying to develop that knack to paint a work...then scrape and scumble it to a point of nearly destroying it...only to build it back judiciously, recover and refine a focal point and leave a good area peripherally abstract.
Here is where I'm at in theory which will lead to practice. Thus far my other lures have I believe for the most part worked...but, they've been to this point "safe"...or safer than I was willing to venture. I bite my lip and tense up to go against things inside of me from long practice, and know that to continue from here is to risk not just creatively destroying and recovering successfully...but actually destroy beyond redemption.
I tell myself..."its only paint...just a painting! What' the big deal anyway!"
Too often we paint as if the one we are working on seeks to prove an argument against ourselves that we know nothing about painting whatsoever, and in the end are only a poser, a dreadful hoax. Funny thing is...we can paint 30 years and hold some reputation, and still harbor that merciless insecurity!
Shall we run to our closet to pull our past works to console ourselves??? hahaaa...
I like how Edgar Degas put it..."painting is easy when you don't know how, but very difficult when you do!"
we shall see then how this one goes...I'm waiting on pins and needles...! 8^)
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